Actually.....

Well this is a "fuck my life" feeling if ever there was one.
I am clearly just too emotional a person for my own good although i am very proud that i have managed not to cry yet tonight.
It’s strange how people can surprise you, you think you’re drifting apart but all it takes is one day to get the bond back. As for those you thought were your friends, it’s amazing how their feelings can be manipulated by a boy. I mean seriously you for one should no I'm not after your "man" pfft.
I mean i know I’m a friendly girl in a flirty sort of way, but trust me if I’m flirting with someone everyone will know all about it!! And why the hell would i want your rumoured player of a bf when i have a man that i love. I mean get over yourself actually!
This is why i am so friendly with guys cos you don’t get all these bloody problems!!! FS! Actually!

I mean I don’t actually have a clue anymore. I was never a person that only had one best friend now I don’t even know if I have any friends, well female anyway. But I can’t spend all my time with guys cause then I just seem like a whore! I mean actually fml! What are peoples problems……..RAGE!!

hmph.....

You have actually got to be kidding me!!! Clearly my sister is the favourite child, since mum is either forgetting about me, telling me a moody cow, compairing me to other so i come of worse or just making life sucky. Yeh dont you worry about a thing maw, just you change all the plans that we had and that were totally fine and  worked around both my sister and me and work so that it suites my sister even better and im just forgotten about. You lot can enjoy yourself and ill work away then have to put up with a whole load of crap from your mates when i get home just what a "crabbit wee bisum" needs after a stressful, boring and hard day at work!!!

more than yesterday.....

Maybe it’s just because it’s the last year of school and technically I don’t have to be there and had seriously considered leaving and only have 3 classes that actually in involve work and one of them means I sit listening to the rest of the class getting lectured and have things repeated a million times cause they are a bunch of idiots and I’m sitting there with the correct answer in front of me. Maybe that is what makes me not want to be there anymore.

Or maybe it’s all the crap that comes with it and the people here.

Yesterday was a great day doing what I love – taking pictures of everyone in the year with a few good friends. Until people start mouthing off, being horrible and bitchy and I felt like a right cow for not taking any of their shite and mouthing back.

But you get past that and have a great laugh with my best friend, and things finally seem back to how they used to be – how they should be! Then next thing you know there is the possibility of being called a whore and a slag just for having a friend.

I mean it is in a way touching to be seen as a threat, but it’s totally stupid to. I have a boyfriend and I love him. If me and my best friend were meant to go out we would, and could have! So all I ask is please get over it and stop upsetting us both cause it will only make us closer as we comfort each other and your jealousy will just force that amazing boy away.

It just gets us thinking though, what if things had been different, what if…..

Sooooooo fed up of school, actually, its unbelievable. I mean its not like i do alot of work, and i have a great laugh with my friends but the classes i do have are just dull. Not interesting. A skive. Already know it all. Dont care about it. Cant be botherd.
Ahhhh well.
Now we all know feelings are a very strange and confusing things. But the worst things are feeling things you shouldnt - love, hate, lust? Whatever it is. And man can it make you feel guilty!!
It cant be helped though, your feelings just cant be stoped. Yeh you can keep them hiden and under control but sometimes they just come to the surface and well......your screwed.

Lies!....

Was in an amzing mood this morning and all day, and well i put that down to my great day yesterday.
Decent day at school, English and Photography, both good subjects that i enjoy. Lunch and laugh with some mates and round to my boys.
Hehe i love seeing him, just being with him and knowing he loves me, its amazing.
And my favourite film came out on dvd too, so home and curled up under the covers and watching my dragons. Perfect day.
Even had a great sleep.
So all that added up to me being fresh and happy this morning, and i do blame it all my boy.
But i come home, and as you do sign on facebook to cheack what has happened in the world.
I have never felt so awful, my tummy went all tight and i honestly thought i was going to cry. His relationship status read "single".
It made no sence! Everything had been perfect yesterday and even this morning, all my friend discoving it to and texting asking questions while im sitting there like WTF!
But it made no sence, so it must not been true. I and i knew it wasnt. It just couldnt be.
So natuarrly i text him, simply asking him to "explain?".
 He was clueless, he honestly had no idea. I asked "your single?" and he said "im not"
Well i already new that but it did make be relax.

So basically it wasnt him, it wasnt his mates, and it wasnt me or my mates.
So someone is messing with my boy, or me and my boy, and they had better hope i dont ever get my hands on them!!

That is all....

You have no idea how awful it is to be the ugly duckling of the family, and by quite a long way.
Having a beautiful, confident older sister has honestly been the downfall of my self confidence, its not helped when she is smart too and feels the need to torment me about not being up to scratch with her.
Luckily my boyfriend does not find her attractive, cos that wld be the most awful thing in the world, not knowing who he really thought was sexy.
But honestly it does me no good being around her, cos there is no way i can compleat with that. I am just compleat inferior, insignificant.
And that is a horrible feeling im faced with every day.

ARRRGGGEEE......

Feel a bit defeated, totally forgotten about and unimportant.
Which isn't great, not going to lie.
Wouldn't it be nice if you were someones best friend for once, and i mean to the extent you text every other day about nothing for hours, they would always make time for you, invite you out, stand by you, never lie to you and never make you feel like just an extra thing of nothingness that is following them around.
Hypocritical people! its just so annoying, what's the point in turning into what you constantly complain about!!
I mean right ok its not their fault that I'm not allowed to go out cause I'm too young, and unlike them I'm not going to lie to my parents just to go out get drunk and have a crap time listening to crap music and being pestered by crap guys while they all pull a bunch of random jakes!!

Maybe I'm just being over emotional, but that ain't my fault either, folk just shouldn't piss me off!! or should learn some morals and loyalty.

Jealousy......

Jealousy does terrible things to people.
Now i know this relates to someone that will be reading this and i hope they understand that i need to have a "vent in writing" and accept my apology.
Ok so ill admit at times me being friendly comes across as flirting, but its just how i am.
Its harmless.
Ad i have a boyfriend who i love, and i am loyal and faithful and not a cheat!!!
But when you mix to flirts together along with a jealous other half who already hates me its just going to cause problems.
But i cant give up my best friend just cause of her jealousy, i mean what me and him have will last so much longer than their relationship -horrid thing to say yes i know and again I'm sorry- but true!


Maybe I'm just a bad person, I mean, what do i do to make people hate me!!
The answer is always they are just jealous, but of what???
I am nothing to be jealous of, trust me.
ok other than my amazing few close friends and my darling boyfriend i really do have nothing. its like I'm overly pretty or smart or talented or successful or anything. I'm just normal.
I don't want to special!!

Love....

Ok so it has been a while, and i apologies. I hope you are all well.
That's it been a year since things kicked off with me and my boy. We shocked ourselves never mind anyone else, we made it a whole year, and love each each other.
Halloween 11pm 2009 in a friends garden with a "geek", just me him, had been flirting all night, little hints here and there that maybe something could happen.
Now I'm not the kind of girl to sit back and wait, if i want something ill go for it and that is just what i did. I kissed him...and he didn't kiss back! He said no to me!!
I know shocking isn't it, but to quote him "i don't want to just be a drunken kiss"
I maintain i was not drunk. He maintains I was that he didn't want to take advantage.
Now this has been the topic of many a heated discussion, did he do the right thing?
I have to admit i think he did, if he had kissed me i probebly would have thought yeah i pulled tonight, instead i text him the next day apologizing for embarrassing myself and instead got a confession that he really liked me and was just scared he didn't stand a chance.
He is such a woman at time!!

Anyhow today i have never seem him so happy, he was just so happy and cuddly and almost proud that i was him. It was one of the sweetest things and god it made me feel amazing.

Ok so yeah this is all a bit soppy, but everyone loves a love story at some point.

=) <3 xxx

Sigh....

I'm fed up being invisible, it being like i don't exist. I mean yeah the bitch has treated me like this for years but it really got to me today, and i just don't no why?
I mean it shouldn't its been going on that long, but it just seemed to dawn on me how bad things were, it was honestly like i wasn't there!!  I didn't relies things had gotten this bad and out of control.
I mean there are rules for example - see if you have no intention of inviting people to an event then you don't make the plans in front of them!! Simple as!
Just gets worse when the folk you though were ok seem to have joined in I mean i know one of them was two faced and one to watch but i never saw her treating me that way.
They are just all due to go fuck each other, bunch of jealous stuck up cows, cos that's what everyone thinks of them, no body thinks they are cool or grown up so they just need to deal with that and stop trying to be something they're not!

cols feet?.....

Its sooooo cold outside now, the gloves and scarf are out and its time to wrap up warm :)

Today was a bad day to wear heels at work had to walk to the bus station, to the office then go a nice long walk round the city centre finding folk to talk too, then walk to the bus.
My poor feet :(

So far this week 2 stangers have sat beside me on the bus, now there are rules against these things, if there are two empty seats beside each other then you sit there NOT BESIDE A STRANGER.

Also i think I'm one of those annoying people that folk dont like that has there music to loud so others can hear it. Opps well all i have to say to that is DONT SIT CLOSE TO ME!!!!

People....

Was up far to early today, but surprisingly I'm not that tired. Its just starting to catch up on me now.
Got the bus up with a friend this morning, helped him with his collage projects since I'm so nice.
Even got walked right to the door.
Now I must confess I love the Irish accent and since the boss man at the paper is Irish, its heaven. Couldn't help but laugh when he decided to change a light though and got down of the chair and put his foot straight in the bin.
Looking forward to the rest of the week.
My mate even got the bus home with me, which was really nice of him. Had a good laugh even made friends with some of his mates who said they "liked my fringe" which was a tad random i must admit.
Only problem is my boyfriend doesn't like this mate, and well me and him are close and have a laugh in the kind of way that can come across as flirty and at times certain lines may be crossed, although nothing has EVER happened and nothing will.

My last day of freedom for two whole weeks.
Five days of getting a bus at nine in the morning, doing work experience and not getting home till close to seven that night.
Two days, my precious weekend, spent working.
Then another five days back at school.
Saturday I have my freedom back, just for a day.

So how i plan to spend this day of freedom?
Writing an essay, studying business, maybe going to to do some photography, and going to my friends to fix a Halloween costume.

Sounds thrilling doesn't it?

So i apologize now if you don't here from me for a bit, I promise my week working will be posted on this - http://harebell-couldthisbeit.blogspot.com/ - at some point.

I will try and put any good gossip or stories on here, if I'm awake enough to do so.

So i hope you all enjoy your week, and shall try and blog again soon.

=) xxxx

just a short one....

I get to see my boy tonight, i get to hug him and kiss him cos i no longer have a stupid throat infection :)
On the other hand the bitches are back! They had spent the week at some outdoor, camping, award thing. Not exactly their thing, no make up, no designer clothes, outside in the cold, rain and mud. One of them even fell face first into a bog. I wont lie the rest of the group laughed A LOT at that news. It’s mean, but funny, very, very funny. I like to think of it as karma for her being such a cow.
But we are just imagining all the brilliant lies they are going to tray and spin us. They were propositioned by the most gorgeous guys or something, which even without us being there is an obvious lie. So it should be interesting next time I’m around them. Which thank god, is going to be quite a while. Or maybe Saturday but either way shall be amusing. Could always start singing Disney songs again hehe.
Anyway, still catching up with missed work from school, so I shall return to doing that.

=) xxxx

Happy day....

Man its hard to title these things.
Anyway, nothing quite makes your day like that unexpected "love you" wither to your face or on a text, when your not expecting it well it just puts a smile on your face, and keeps it there for a long long time.
Had a fab night with the girls yesterday, singing Disney songs and dancing around a kitchen.......as you do of a monday night lol. But these kind of nights are the ones you remember and love. Being mounted by your mates, taking unattractive pictures, dramatically singing amazing songs, bitching, laughing, having proper fun.
shame the bitches are back next week to spoil all our fun because they don't appreciate nights like that, cos they are to snobby and mature for that, haha mature - don't make me laugh.
Had to convince one of my mates its about time she grows a pair and asks out the guy she likes, i mean the worse thing that can happen is he says no and she isn't left wondering what if?
I wouldn't have my boy if i hadn't just went for it, I wouldn't have had the most amazing year ever, admittedly we have our ups and downs but for all those who doubted us, we love each other and have made it a year.....so in your face!!

=) xxxx

Being female....

I dont care that guys read this. But I had a very sucessful shopping day yesterday as for like the first time ever i found bras that really fit!! And I mean this is as close to perfect as it gets. And that plus my new dress to quote "make my chest look gooooood" ;)
hehe anyway was out for dinner with my boy last night hen to a wee party, met som friends i havnt seen in ages so was a great laugh, walked how with my boy wich is difficult in a dress and heels when its really windy. But I had nice knickers so all was good. Haha god the way my mind works.
You know what i hate?
When your parents treat you like an idiot. If they are ill your n ot allowed to have any promblems are feel like crap yourself because they dont care. Or you cant do something and need their help and immediatly yor incabale of it cos your stupid!! I men they come through to help and jus makes thingsworse and i'm like Ha who is the idiot now!!
Awww the rage!!
And yes me and my darling boyfriend managed not to fall out last night. I mean its mpossible to stay mad at him. And even harder when he says I love you.

=) xxxx

Love.....

When he is sleepy and moody and stuborn.
When I'm ill and emotional and fed up.
Its bound to lead to a fall out, but just hang up he phone have a we cry and then deal with it.
Threaten not to see him for another week and BAM!! total attitude change, guessi t just shows he cares, in his own strange way.

Me....

Its time to sell myself!

Personal Statements, and updated C.Vs for work experience.

Fun times talking yourself up, making yourself sound, big and important, and special.

Even though you still feel like crap and just want to go back to bed.

But where to start. What to say to make myself stand out from everyone else?

I honestly hate doing things like this!!!

Perfect doubt anyone else would think of that for a start.


So i start my week of journalism work experience in a week or so. I feel the need for a separate blog to document that. But I'm working 10am till 5:30pm it will take roughly an hour on the bus and 15 mins to walk to and from the bus station to my house, and 5 mins to get to the office. That is a long day! So not sure if i will have the energy to blog. But i shall try.

I'm also working Saturday and Sunday of the week before, I think.


But i get to spend the week in Glasgow, and I love Glasgow, I love the city. And planning to go to dinner with my boy one night, the as the parents are away I'm going to my grans for dinner too one night.

So it is all planned out nicely.


:) xxxx

Diseased.....

I have been ill for a year now......

I have been in bed for a week stright.....

On Saturday I felt fine, which was great considering I got to see my boy for the first time in a week, and he was well worth seeing ;) haha

But no now I'm ill again, it is as if to celebrate the start of my year long mysetry illness i have been plaged by a illness.

But God was having an off day when he made me, I mean i cant even be sick properly, I just sit there and gag.

So I have not blogged in a week due to illness, and this week could end up much the same :( 

But I will not let it stop me! I think, I hope.

Hope you are all happy and healthy

xxxxx

No more waiting....

11 months, 2 brake ups, and so many good times later, and we have finally admitted how we feel about each other. We think we might love each other.
It may sound rediculouse, but we have the most amazinf relationship without even thinking about love.
He is my boyfirend. My best friend, always there, no matter what.
He is all i need right now. Along with my few close friends.
Me and the girls have now decided that a week away in the sun shall do us good. Sun sea sand and cakes :)
Yes i said cakes! We are thinking of going to Albufeira, where i know there are the most beautiful beaches, and the most amazing little cake shop.

But i must flee, i know this is short lol, but the X factor is calling. I need a good laugh at folk making tits of themselves.

=) <3 xxx

Goodbye....

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Jack's dad has got it going on......

I do realise i went off on a bit of one yesterday, and I am sorry.

I shall also warn you now the title has nothing to do with this post but it means a lot to me and that best mate i sometimes mention.

Have you ever done that thing when you purposely don't text someone just to see how long it takes for them to text you. It may see immature but why should you always be the one that makes the effort! Sometimes it works wonders and they text you and its dead sweet or just perfect. Then there is the other times when it backfires and you get a hard time for not texting them!! But it is simply a good test of character.

Yawn, yawn, yawn. I'm always so sleepy just now. Its not normal. Than again apparently neither am I. So I guess that works.


I need sleep. And food. And a text.....  

=) xxxxx

Inspiration.....

Do you not just hate it when you have an amazing idea, but no way of putting it down on paper or anything, then you forget it and i mean really forget as in, bye bye I'm never being that brilliant ever again. It makes me sad, I miss my moments of amazingness.

Anyway I know its been a while, and a certain "fan" - that is if i have more than just the one, and well as my bbf ;) haha he has no choice but to read it - is disappointed in the lack of blogs over the last few day. But I've been busy and my moments of blogging brilliance have been disappearing before i could write them down.

I'm not sure what to write tonight, its hard to describe really, i think its just tiredness and the usual rubbish getting to me.

I am way so easily put down. And it's strange its always after a good day or in this case weekend that you just find you feel.....worthless. I honestly think that i the word.

I'm not even sure if people actually read this, I mean who would be interested in what i have to say?? It's nothing special.

So i guess this goes out as a bit of a plea. If you can please follow. Or leave a comment. You can give me ideas of what to blog. Share your problems, your feelings. I don't mind giving advice. Or if you want my opinion on something i don't mind if you message me.


xxxx

The human brain....

People are funny. Our emotions confusing.
I mean how can you explain your jealousy, your wants, your needs, your likes; when even you don't understand them?
I cant explain what draws me to the music I like, my fascination with nature, or my occasional moments of jealousy I simply don't understand!
I am not a jealous person.
A worrier, yes. A tad insecure with low self esteem, sure. But jealous, no! But then you hear about your boyfriend being in the company of someone else  and before you know it and the trust has time to set in, its a flash of jealousy. Or worse still a guy you once liked, use to, in the past, is moving on or likes one of your mates, and then its there again.
Silly, unnecessary, unexplainable feelings!!
It all just confuses me, really because it only last a seconds then I return to my senses.
At times I'm content on my own, happy and peaceful, listening to music or just thinking. Then other times all you want attention, a text, a hug, just someone to be there.
Our wants and change just like our favourite things and people. And most of the time there is no valid or apparent reason.
Out of my friends I'm the listener, the advice giver - the agony aunt. But sometimes you cant be bothered with other peoples problem, pointless trivial things, your own worries are enough. Yet I cant help but try and solve others problems when they ask. Half the time all they need is a good rant.
But most of these things revolve around the opposite sex. We cant live with or without them!! SO is it better just to stop complaining and just embrace that bitch or dick - cos that is ultimately what we all are- and just get on with your life or keep seeing the problems however trivial and miss out or give up on something amazing??

Shivers...

So there has been water coming out the pavement across the road for the past to days, so after a day of rain they decide to come fix it.....at 6:30pm. 

7:15pm  - We leave the house to go to some boring and pointless meeting at the school, the street smells funny

8pm - We return to find we have no gas!! Ie. NO HEAT!!!

While digging to reach the burts water pipe these silly silly men broke the gas pipe!!!!

I am now sitting in my dressing gown, cold :(

And i have the cold too, just to add to the fun of things.

And my darling boyfriend is going back to uni and i have no idea when i will see him as his gran isnt well and he needs to spend time with her, not that i hold this against his gran, she deserves his attention.

But see when he text me saying "cant txt the now in A&E" it causes ALOT!!! of panic. 

Its not nice or fun to worry like that, but he explained what was wrong and i feel sorry for his gran. Hope she is better soon.

But tomorrow morning shall be fun with no heat :( Oh the joys!!

=( xxxx

Who knew.....

I never would have guessed that my boyfriend was insecure. I always thought i was the one with confidence problems, a low self esteem, cos honestly i don't think much of myself. And he always came across so confident, big headed and full of himself. A bravado, just an act apparently. It honestly took me by surprise his confession of this, the fact he doesn't understand why I'm with him, cos he isn't really what i would call my type. But i would have no one else, its him an that is it. Which really means something coming from me, cos i used to always see possibilities in other guys, but I have him. I don't need anyone else.
But now I'm trying to show him what i see in him, explain why i think he is so amazing, and he refuses to listen, to see what I see in him.
Guys just never seem to appear so doubtful of themselves, always confident almost cocky, but is that all an act? Are most guys just putting on a show?

Discovering......

I love being outside, I love the beauty of the outdoors. Noting can even come close to the beauty of nature. 
But you know you have something special when someone is welling to lie and tell you, "you are far more beautiful" than any sunset, then any beach, than nature. Its even better when the stick to this lie no matter what cos at least then there is a chance they could mean it.
Aww the lies guys will tell just to keep you happy. Its sweet, shows they really care.
But what matters more to them? The approval of the family or the approval of their friends?
Not i have any problems with either of these groups lol, has family think im great and dont understand what i see in him -always a good sigh - and his mates well, they most definitely approve ;) If you get me.
I love having long heart to feats with my boy finding out everything about him, exactly how his mind works, ok so some of these may not be heart to hearts more a game of truths but there is something great about just lying with hem and discovering exactly what goes on in his head. Cos as im sure i  have said before guys are confusing!!

Boys, boys, men.....

The male race are soooooo confusing and all so very different. One of my mates is very serious its hard to have a laugh with him its all questions and answers with him. Then other mates you just cant stop laughing with even if your just babbling on about nothingness!!
 
Spent yesterday with my boyfriend, he got up early just for me. I feel honered he would give up time sleeping just to be with me. Was a fantastic day just wondering around, chatting laughing, holding hands, getting the occassional sneaking kiss ion the lips, or him standing behind me giving me sweet little kissis on my shoulder or tickling my wrist and arm. I'll miss him once he is back at uni wont be able to spend as much time with him, but we will make it work.
Meeting his uni mate yesterday was great. Its nice to have an insite into his "school" life for want of a better word. But it does get you really strange looks when your walking down the street holding hands with your boyfriend.......who is holding hands with another guy. But its a good laugh carrying on in such a way.

But here is one thing that we were talking about that i dont understand or think is fair. Think about this....Why is it when a girl goes out and kisses 5, 6 even 7 guys a night she is whore, a slut, desprate but when a guy does it he is a hero?!?!?!


Awww the ways of life, the difference between the sexes, how you confuse me.


=) xxxx

Opps.....

I may have ever so slightly have dyed my hair black. Well not black black but it certinly isnt choclate brown!! Ill tell you that for a fact. I hope it fades soon just a tad.
Why do we girls put ourself through so much to look good? Waxing, plucking, preening, dying, brushing, prooning. Haha I mean guys have it so easy compared to us. And is it the guys that we do this for? Do they even appreshiate all the effort we go to just to look good!!!

Anyways I'm dedicating this to the only person i know that reads my blog, he is an absoulute babe and one of my best friends. We have went through a tough time together and some horrible and difficult decions had to be made but things are back how they should be now. I honestly dont know where i would be without him.
Just embarrassing him now. Hehe. But really he is always there, and I'm so glad i have him cos without him my darling bf would prob have killed me due to the amount of bitching and ranting and just crap that I talk. So I guess in fact I owe him my life.......NAH!!

=) xxxx

Maybe alone works.....

Do you ever just want to be alone? I know i complained about it earlier but sometime its either be with a certine someone or alone. Nothing eles seems to be right. Ahhh well the feeling always passes.
Arge!! Extream writers block!!!
I guess i should fill you in on my boy. He is going through a sweet stage. Its cute. We aren't your usual puplic couple the kind of people who kiss in the street, yeh we hold hands but we  are not all over each other. We are honest with each other, maybe to honest with each other. But it works perfect for us. We can spend ages together talking about nothing or not talking at all. Its perfect, just like him.
I am not a soppy person! I swear!

=) xxxx

Alone and unloved....

I hate being alone in the house by myself, there is just something not nice about it.
I like having people around me, talking to people and just knowing they are there. Its daft i know but its just how I am.
Anyways, was out last night with my girls and guys and the guys were amazed at how many guys looked at the girls. Cause yes a group of girls witht there "Legs Out" attracts alot of attention for 40 year old guys. Its sick i know but its just how things are.
But why do guys suddenly pay attention when girls have some form of flesh showing. I mean what is with the looks and the tooting of horns and the shouting of car windows??? And men do it even when there girlfreind or kid is in the car!!
Males are a very confusing race!
But i have my man, hehe, older mature and so sweet. I feel i am luck i dont have the hassle of dating anymore i deciding who i like cos i like him, i go out with him and that is that.
What an easy life i have compared to others.

=) xxxx

Thank God for me.....

I am an organised person. I need to know when things are happen, who with, where and what is going on. I is just who i am. I am that person that is always early, always ready 10 mins before i should be and lateness...well that really bugs me.
So me and my group are planning a day out and i assumed the people organising it had the right times for the train to get there, but being me i had to see when we could get home. While doing this i noticed the supposide train we were ment to get there it not there. So i look into this, what are our other options, go rediculously early or late. So i phone up the organisers of our wee day trip and explain our problem.
Could you imagine how awful it would have been to turn up and find there was no train! I mean what would we have done then!!
But harebell to the rescue....dum di di dum!!
All im saying is thank god for the organisation freaks out there, the world would be in ruins without you!!

=) xxxx

This is me.....

Right so here goes, I’m not totally sure I have the dedication to be a blogger but its worth a try now isn’t it? Well we will see. My name is Harebell. Well that’s not my really name but considering this is going to be a continual bitch about the people in my life I can’t really get away with my real name or I would be in a lot of shit. Not that it would matter cause all my supposed “friends” seem to hate me anyway. But we will save that for later.

So this is just an introduction to me really. Me. My family. My friends. Oh and the man/ boy whatever you want to call him in my life.

So I’m a 16 year old, Scottish girl, in my 6th year at school. Young, confident, bubbly and I like to think that I know myself pretty well. I have great plans for the future, well I hope I do, if it all plans out. I want to leave go to university and be a journalist. Yip I have it all planned out nicely.

Sometimes get the feeling the ‘rents don’t approve though. It’s not a secure job, your not guarantied a future, but are you really guarantied a future in anything these days. My parents are very protective, and so is my sister, no one messes with the young one in the family. My parents also like to keep things fair between us, she wasn’t allowed to do that, so your not allowed to do that, she waited till she was 18 then you must wait too. It sucks. Quite a bit. But I do love my family. They are always there for me even if it is just to wind me up and do my head in.

And well my friends……bear with me cause this could take a while, ill try and just sum it up quickly but this is important so keep focused with me for just a few minutes.

Lets see where to start….where to start? Hmm……..

So there are 11 of us…..no wait 12. This is in my main group of friend, out with them I have smaller groups of mainly guys, who are great, I mean absolutely fantastic, don’t know what I would do without them kind of friends.

But yeh this group of 11 it splits up quite nicely if I’m honest and I know you will all be think why the hell do I hang around with people I don’t like and that don’t like me but its not that simple.

The are the 4 guys, who are all so lovely and yes I have had a thing with a few of them but nothing serious and they are just so nice, so kind and understand and most importantly they like me. Then the girls, well we split into three groups, the good the bad and the ugly haha – or the bitches, the two faced and the rejected.

I am a reject.

Yes that is right my lovely readers, I am a reject and proud.

Me and my two closest mates in the group we are the “uncool” ones well so it seems but if anything we are the ones that don’t need this group as we have other friends. We don’t get invited out by the bitches and we don’t care cause we know that they don’t like us, we don’t care they don’t talk to us, we don’t talk tot them. It works.

But the bitches god you don’t invite them to one thing either because you know they are busy or you know they wouldn’t enjoy it and oh dear god they go off their head at you. It is ridiculous. God you don’t like us why do you care if we don’t invite you to stuff!!!!

But possible the most annoying are the two faced twins. They aren’t really twins but there are two of them and they are both as bad as each other. They act all friendly with us rejects and bitch about the bitches, say they don’t want to spend with them and THEN SUDDENLY they are acting like the bitches are there best friends!! I mean if that is the case they bitch about the bitches then go be their friend, then do they bitch about us rejects them! Its frustrating!!! Cos you don’t want to leave the group cos your friends with some of them but Man life would be so much easier if we could.

And the one person I feel sorry for because of all this is my long term – on and off – couldn’t do more for me boyfriend. I say on and off we have split up one for day; it was stupid and silly and I had over reacted but he came back to me, Thank God!!

Then there was the proper brake up a whole hellish month apart, well not going out. We still talked and met up and we let it all out – every little thing that annoyed us and now we are back together he has changed, he has stopped the little thing that annoy me. He claims that I don’t wear the trousers in this relationship…..I sooooo do!!

So that is a quick rundown of me, and the people around me and probably the people that will be inspiring my blog. So I will leave you to get to grips with all that and will write again soon.

=) xxxx