No more waiting....

11 months, 2 brake ups, and so many good times later, and we have finally admitted how we feel about each other. We think we might love each other.
It may sound rediculouse, but we have the most amazinf relationship without even thinking about love.
He is my boyfirend. My best friend, always there, no matter what.
He is all i need right now. Along with my few close friends.
Me and the girls have now decided that a week away in the sun shall do us good. Sun sea sand and cakes :)
Yes i said cakes! We are thinking of going to Albufeira, where i know there are the most beautiful beaches, and the most amazing little cake shop.

But i must flee, i know this is short lol, but the X factor is calling. I need a good laugh at folk making tits of themselves.

=) <3 xxx

Goodbye....

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Jack's dad has got it going on......

I do realise i went off on a bit of one yesterday, and I am sorry.

I shall also warn you now the title has nothing to do with this post but it means a lot to me and that best mate i sometimes mention.

Have you ever done that thing when you purposely don't text someone just to see how long it takes for them to text you. It may see immature but why should you always be the one that makes the effort! Sometimes it works wonders and they text you and its dead sweet or just perfect. Then there is the other times when it backfires and you get a hard time for not texting them!! But it is simply a good test of character.

Yawn, yawn, yawn. I'm always so sleepy just now. Its not normal. Than again apparently neither am I. So I guess that works.


I need sleep. And food. And a text.....  

=) xxxxx

Inspiration.....

Do you not just hate it when you have an amazing idea, but no way of putting it down on paper or anything, then you forget it and i mean really forget as in, bye bye I'm never being that brilliant ever again. It makes me sad, I miss my moments of amazingness.

Anyway I know its been a while, and a certain "fan" - that is if i have more than just the one, and well as my bbf ;) haha he has no choice but to read it - is disappointed in the lack of blogs over the last few day. But I've been busy and my moments of blogging brilliance have been disappearing before i could write them down.

I'm not sure what to write tonight, its hard to describe really, i think its just tiredness and the usual rubbish getting to me.

I am way so easily put down. And it's strange its always after a good day or in this case weekend that you just find you feel.....worthless. I honestly think that i the word.

I'm not even sure if people actually read this, I mean who would be interested in what i have to say?? It's nothing special.

So i guess this goes out as a bit of a plea. If you can please follow. Or leave a comment. You can give me ideas of what to blog. Share your problems, your feelings. I don't mind giving advice. Or if you want my opinion on something i don't mind if you message me.


xxxx

The human brain....

People are funny. Our emotions confusing.
I mean how can you explain your jealousy, your wants, your needs, your likes; when even you don't understand them?
I cant explain what draws me to the music I like, my fascination with nature, or my occasional moments of jealousy I simply don't understand!
I am not a jealous person.
A worrier, yes. A tad insecure with low self esteem, sure. But jealous, no! But then you hear about your boyfriend being in the company of someone else  and before you know it and the trust has time to set in, its a flash of jealousy. Or worse still a guy you once liked, use to, in the past, is moving on or likes one of your mates, and then its there again.
Silly, unnecessary, unexplainable feelings!!
It all just confuses me, really because it only last a seconds then I return to my senses.
At times I'm content on my own, happy and peaceful, listening to music or just thinking. Then other times all you want attention, a text, a hug, just someone to be there.
Our wants and change just like our favourite things and people. And most of the time there is no valid or apparent reason.
Out of my friends I'm the listener, the advice giver - the agony aunt. But sometimes you cant be bothered with other peoples problem, pointless trivial things, your own worries are enough. Yet I cant help but try and solve others problems when they ask. Half the time all they need is a good rant.
But most of these things revolve around the opposite sex. We cant live with or without them!! SO is it better just to stop complaining and just embrace that bitch or dick - cos that is ultimately what we all are- and just get on with your life or keep seeing the problems however trivial and miss out or give up on something amazing??

Shivers...

So there has been water coming out the pavement across the road for the past to days, so after a day of rain they decide to come fix it.....at 6:30pm. 

7:15pm  - We leave the house to go to some boring and pointless meeting at the school, the street smells funny

8pm - We return to find we have no gas!! Ie. NO HEAT!!!

While digging to reach the burts water pipe these silly silly men broke the gas pipe!!!!

I am now sitting in my dressing gown, cold :(

And i have the cold too, just to add to the fun of things.

And my darling boyfriend is going back to uni and i have no idea when i will see him as his gran isnt well and he needs to spend time with her, not that i hold this against his gran, she deserves his attention.

But see when he text me saying "cant txt the now in A&E" it causes ALOT!!! of panic. 

Its not nice or fun to worry like that, but he explained what was wrong and i feel sorry for his gran. Hope she is better soon.

But tomorrow morning shall be fun with no heat :( Oh the joys!!

=( xxxx

Who knew.....

I never would have guessed that my boyfriend was insecure. I always thought i was the one with confidence problems, a low self esteem, cos honestly i don't think much of myself. And he always came across so confident, big headed and full of himself. A bravado, just an act apparently. It honestly took me by surprise his confession of this, the fact he doesn't understand why I'm with him, cos he isn't really what i would call my type. But i would have no one else, its him an that is it. Which really means something coming from me, cos i used to always see possibilities in other guys, but I have him. I don't need anyone else.
But now I'm trying to show him what i see in him, explain why i think he is so amazing, and he refuses to listen, to see what I see in him.
Guys just never seem to appear so doubtful of themselves, always confident almost cocky, but is that all an act? Are most guys just putting on a show?

Discovering......

I love being outside, I love the beauty of the outdoors. Noting can even come close to the beauty of nature. 
But you know you have something special when someone is welling to lie and tell you, "you are far more beautiful" than any sunset, then any beach, than nature. Its even better when the stick to this lie no matter what cos at least then there is a chance they could mean it.
Aww the lies guys will tell just to keep you happy. Its sweet, shows they really care.
But what matters more to them? The approval of the family or the approval of their friends?
Not i have any problems with either of these groups lol, has family think im great and dont understand what i see in him -always a good sigh - and his mates well, they most definitely approve ;) If you get me.
I love having long heart to feats with my boy finding out everything about him, exactly how his mind works, ok so some of these may not be heart to hearts more a game of truths but there is something great about just lying with hem and discovering exactly what goes on in his head. Cos as im sure i  have said before guys are confusing!!

Boys, boys, men.....

The male race are soooooo confusing and all so very different. One of my mates is very serious its hard to have a laugh with him its all questions and answers with him. Then other mates you just cant stop laughing with even if your just babbling on about nothingness!!
 
Spent yesterday with my boyfriend, he got up early just for me. I feel honered he would give up time sleeping just to be with me. Was a fantastic day just wondering around, chatting laughing, holding hands, getting the occassional sneaking kiss ion the lips, or him standing behind me giving me sweet little kissis on my shoulder or tickling my wrist and arm. I'll miss him once he is back at uni wont be able to spend as much time with him, but we will make it work.
Meeting his uni mate yesterday was great. Its nice to have an insite into his "school" life for want of a better word. But it does get you really strange looks when your walking down the street holding hands with your boyfriend.......who is holding hands with another guy. But its a good laugh carrying on in such a way.

But here is one thing that we were talking about that i dont understand or think is fair. Think about this....Why is it when a girl goes out and kisses 5, 6 even 7 guys a night she is whore, a slut, desprate but when a guy does it he is a hero?!?!?!


Awww the ways of life, the difference between the sexes, how you confuse me.


=) xxxx

Opps.....

I may have ever so slightly have dyed my hair black. Well not black black but it certinly isnt choclate brown!! Ill tell you that for a fact. I hope it fades soon just a tad.
Why do we girls put ourself through so much to look good? Waxing, plucking, preening, dying, brushing, prooning. Haha I mean guys have it so easy compared to us. And is it the guys that we do this for? Do they even appreshiate all the effort we go to just to look good!!!

Anyways I'm dedicating this to the only person i know that reads my blog, he is an absoulute babe and one of my best friends. We have went through a tough time together and some horrible and difficult decions had to be made but things are back how they should be now. I honestly dont know where i would be without him.
Just embarrassing him now. Hehe. But really he is always there, and I'm so glad i have him cos without him my darling bf would prob have killed me due to the amount of bitching and ranting and just crap that I talk. So I guess in fact I owe him my life.......NAH!!

=) xxxx

Maybe alone works.....

Do you ever just want to be alone? I know i complained about it earlier but sometime its either be with a certine someone or alone. Nothing eles seems to be right. Ahhh well the feeling always passes.
Arge!! Extream writers block!!!
I guess i should fill you in on my boy. He is going through a sweet stage. Its cute. We aren't your usual puplic couple the kind of people who kiss in the street, yeh we hold hands but we  are not all over each other. We are honest with each other, maybe to honest with each other. But it works perfect for us. We can spend ages together talking about nothing or not talking at all. Its perfect, just like him.
I am not a soppy person! I swear!

=) xxxx

Alone and unloved....

I hate being alone in the house by myself, there is just something not nice about it.
I like having people around me, talking to people and just knowing they are there. Its daft i know but its just how I am.
Anyways, was out last night with my girls and guys and the guys were amazed at how many guys looked at the girls. Cause yes a group of girls witht there "Legs Out" attracts alot of attention for 40 year old guys. Its sick i know but its just how things are.
But why do guys suddenly pay attention when girls have some form of flesh showing. I mean what is with the looks and the tooting of horns and the shouting of car windows??? And men do it even when there girlfreind or kid is in the car!!
Males are a very confusing race!
But i have my man, hehe, older mature and so sweet. I feel i am luck i dont have the hassle of dating anymore i deciding who i like cos i like him, i go out with him and that is that.
What an easy life i have compared to others.

=) xxxx

Thank God for me.....

I am an organised person. I need to know when things are happen, who with, where and what is going on. I is just who i am. I am that person that is always early, always ready 10 mins before i should be and lateness...well that really bugs me.
So me and my group are planning a day out and i assumed the people organising it had the right times for the train to get there, but being me i had to see when we could get home. While doing this i noticed the supposide train we were ment to get there it not there. So i look into this, what are our other options, go rediculously early or late. So i phone up the organisers of our wee day trip and explain our problem.
Could you imagine how awful it would have been to turn up and find there was no train! I mean what would we have done then!!
But harebell to the rescue....dum di di dum!!
All im saying is thank god for the organisation freaks out there, the world would be in ruins without you!!

=) xxxx

This is me.....

Right so here goes, I’m not totally sure I have the dedication to be a blogger but its worth a try now isn’t it? Well we will see. My name is Harebell. Well that’s not my really name but considering this is going to be a continual bitch about the people in my life I can’t really get away with my real name or I would be in a lot of shit. Not that it would matter cause all my supposed “friends” seem to hate me anyway. But we will save that for later.

So this is just an introduction to me really. Me. My family. My friends. Oh and the man/ boy whatever you want to call him in my life.

So I’m a 16 year old, Scottish girl, in my 6th year at school. Young, confident, bubbly and I like to think that I know myself pretty well. I have great plans for the future, well I hope I do, if it all plans out. I want to leave go to university and be a journalist. Yip I have it all planned out nicely.

Sometimes get the feeling the ‘rents don’t approve though. It’s not a secure job, your not guarantied a future, but are you really guarantied a future in anything these days. My parents are very protective, and so is my sister, no one messes with the young one in the family. My parents also like to keep things fair between us, she wasn’t allowed to do that, so your not allowed to do that, she waited till she was 18 then you must wait too. It sucks. Quite a bit. But I do love my family. They are always there for me even if it is just to wind me up and do my head in.

And well my friends……bear with me cause this could take a while, ill try and just sum it up quickly but this is important so keep focused with me for just a few minutes.

Lets see where to start….where to start? Hmm……..

So there are 11 of us…..no wait 12. This is in my main group of friend, out with them I have smaller groups of mainly guys, who are great, I mean absolutely fantastic, don’t know what I would do without them kind of friends.

But yeh this group of 11 it splits up quite nicely if I’m honest and I know you will all be think why the hell do I hang around with people I don’t like and that don’t like me but its not that simple.

The are the 4 guys, who are all so lovely and yes I have had a thing with a few of them but nothing serious and they are just so nice, so kind and understand and most importantly they like me. Then the girls, well we split into three groups, the good the bad and the ugly haha – or the bitches, the two faced and the rejected.

I am a reject.

Yes that is right my lovely readers, I am a reject and proud.

Me and my two closest mates in the group we are the “uncool” ones well so it seems but if anything we are the ones that don’t need this group as we have other friends. We don’t get invited out by the bitches and we don’t care cause we know that they don’t like us, we don’t care they don’t talk to us, we don’t talk tot them. It works.

But the bitches god you don’t invite them to one thing either because you know they are busy or you know they wouldn’t enjoy it and oh dear god they go off their head at you. It is ridiculous. God you don’t like us why do you care if we don’t invite you to stuff!!!!

But possible the most annoying are the two faced twins. They aren’t really twins but there are two of them and they are both as bad as each other. They act all friendly with us rejects and bitch about the bitches, say they don’t want to spend with them and THEN SUDDENLY they are acting like the bitches are there best friends!! I mean if that is the case they bitch about the bitches then go be their friend, then do they bitch about us rejects them! Its frustrating!!! Cos you don’t want to leave the group cos your friends with some of them but Man life would be so much easier if we could.

And the one person I feel sorry for because of all this is my long term – on and off – couldn’t do more for me boyfriend. I say on and off we have split up one for day; it was stupid and silly and I had over reacted but he came back to me, Thank God!!

Then there was the proper brake up a whole hellish month apart, well not going out. We still talked and met up and we let it all out – every little thing that annoyed us and now we are back together he has changed, he has stopped the little thing that annoy me. He claims that I don’t wear the trousers in this relationship…..I sooooo do!!

So that is a quick rundown of me, and the people around me and probably the people that will be inspiring my blog. So I will leave you to get to grips with all that and will write again soon.

=) xxxx