You have no idea how awful it is to be the ugly duckling of the family, and by quite a long way.
Having a beautiful, confident older sister has honestly been the downfall of my self confidence, its not helped when she is smart too and feels the need to torment me about not being up to scratch with her.
Luckily my boyfriend does not find her attractive, cos that wld be the most awful thing in the world, not knowing who he really thought was sexy.
But honestly it does me no good being around her, cos there is no way i can compleat with that. I am just compleat inferior, insignificant.
And that is a horrible feeling im faced with every day.
Saturday, 13 November 2010
Sunday, 7 November 2010
ARRRGGGEEE......
Feel a bit defeated, totally forgotten about and unimportant.
Which isn't great, not going to lie.
Wouldn't it be nice if you were someones best friend for once, and i mean to the extent you text every other day about nothing for hours, they would always make time for you, invite you out, stand by you, never lie to you and never make you feel like just an extra thing of nothingness that is following them around.
Hypocritical people! its just so annoying, what's the point in turning into what you constantly complain about!!
I mean right ok its not their fault that I'm not allowed to go out cause I'm too young, and unlike them I'm not going to lie to my parents just to go out get drunk and have a crap time listening to crap music and being pestered by crap guys while they all pull a bunch of random jakes!!
Maybe I'm just being over emotional, but that ain't my fault either, folk just shouldn't piss me off!! or should learn some morals and loyalty.
Which isn't great, not going to lie.
Wouldn't it be nice if you were someones best friend for once, and i mean to the extent you text every other day about nothing for hours, they would always make time for you, invite you out, stand by you, never lie to you and never make you feel like just an extra thing of nothingness that is following them around.
Hypocritical people! its just so annoying, what's the point in turning into what you constantly complain about!!
I mean right ok its not their fault that I'm not allowed to go out cause I'm too young, and unlike them I'm not going to lie to my parents just to go out get drunk and have a crap time listening to crap music and being pestered by crap guys while they all pull a bunch of random jakes!!
Maybe I'm just being over emotional, but that ain't my fault either, folk just shouldn't piss me off!! or should learn some morals and loyalty.
Wednesday, 3 November 2010
Jealousy......
Jealousy does terrible things to people.
Now i know this relates to someone that will be reading this and i hope they understand that i need to have a "vent in writing" and accept my apology.
Ok so ill admit at times me being friendly comes across as flirting, but its just how i am.
Its harmless.
Ad i have a boyfriend who i love, and i am loyal and faithful and not a cheat!!!
But when you mix to flirts together along with a jealous other half who already hates me its just going to cause problems.
But i cant give up my best friend just cause of her jealousy, i mean what me and him have will last so much longer than their relationship -horrid thing to say yes i know and again I'm sorry- but true!
Maybe I'm just a bad person, I mean, what do i do to make people hate me!!
The answer is always they are just jealous, but of what???
I am nothing to be jealous of, trust me.
ok other than my amazing few close friends and my darling boyfriend i really do have nothing. its like I'm overly pretty or smart or talented or successful or anything. I'm just normal.
I don't want to special!!
Now i know this relates to someone that will be reading this and i hope they understand that i need to have a "vent in writing" and accept my apology.
Ok so ill admit at times me being friendly comes across as flirting, but its just how i am.
Its harmless.
Ad i have a boyfriend who i love, and i am loyal and faithful and not a cheat!!!
But when you mix to flirts together along with a jealous other half who already hates me its just going to cause problems.
But i cant give up my best friend just cause of her jealousy, i mean what me and him have will last so much longer than their relationship -horrid thing to say yes i know and again I'm sorry- but true!
Maybe I'm just a bad person, I mean, what do i do to make people hate me!!
The answer is always they are just jealous, but of what???
I am nothing to be jealous of, trust me.
ok other than my amazing few close friends and my darling boyfriend i really do have nothing. its like I'm overly pretty or smart or talented or successful or anything. I'm just normal.
I don't want to special!!
Monday, 1 November 2010
Love....
Ok so it has been a while, and i apologies. I hope you are all well.
That's it been a year since things kicked off with me and my boy. We shocked ourselves never mind anyone else, we made it a whole year, and love each each other.
Halloween 11pm 2009 in a friends garden with a "geek", just me him, had been flirting all night, little hints here and there that maybe something could happen.
Now I'm not the kind of girl to sit back and wait, if i want something ill go for it and that is just what i did. I kissed him...and he didn't kiss back! He said no to me!!
I know shocking isn't it, but to quote him "i don't want to just be a drunken kiss"
I maintain i was not drunk. He maintains I was that he didn't want to take advantage.
Now this has been the topic of many a heated discussion, did he do the right thing?
I have to admit i think he did, if he had kissed me i probebly would have thought yeah i pulled tonight, instead i text him the next day apologizing for embarrassing myself and instead got a confession that he really liked me and was just scared he didn't stand a chance.
He is such a woman at time!!
Anyhow today i have never seem him so happy, he was just so happy and cuddly and almost proud that i was him. It was one of the sweetest things and god it made me feel amazing.
Ok so yeah this is all a bit soppy, but everyone loves a love story at some point.
=) <3 xxx
That's it been a year since things kicked off with me and my boy. We shocked ourselves never mind anyone else, we made it a whole year, and love each each other.
Halloween 11pm 2009 in a friends garden with a "geek", just me him, had been flirting all night, little hints here and there that maybe something could happen.
Now I'm not the kind of girl to sit back and wait, if i want something ill go for it and that is just what i did. I kissed him...and he didn't kiss back! He said no to me!!
I know shocking isn't it, but to quote him "i don't want to just be a drunken kiss"
I maintain i was not drunk. He maintains I was that he didn't want to take advantage.
Now this has been the topic of many a heated discussion, did he do the right thing?
I have to admit i think he did, if he had kissed me i probebly would have thought yeah i pulled tonight, instead i text him the next day apologizing for embarrassing myself and instead got a confession that he really liked me and was just scared he didn't stand a chance.
He is such a woman at time!!
Anyhow today i have never seem him so happy, he was just so happy and cuddly and almost proud that i was him. It was one of the sweetest things and god it made me feel amazing.
Ok so yeah this is all a bit soppy, but everyone loves a love story at some point.
=) <3 xxx
Tuesday, 26 October 2010
Sigh....
I'm fed up being invisible, it being like i don't exist. I mean yeah the bitch has treated me like this for years but it really got to me today, and i just don't no why?
I mean it shouldn't its been going on that long, but it just seemed to dawn on me how bad things were, it was honestly like i wasn't there!! I didn't relies things had gotten this bad and out of control.
I mean there are rules for example - see if you have no intention of inviting people to an event then you don't make the plans in front of them!! Simple as!
Just gets worse when the folk you though were ok seem to have joined in I mean i know one of them was two faced and one to watch but i never saw her treating me that way.
They are just all due to go fuck each other, bunch of jealous stuck up cows, cos that's what everyone thinks of them, no body thinks they are cool or grown up so they just need to deal with that and stop trying to be something they're not!
I mean it shouldn't its been going on that long, but it just seemed to dawn on me how bad things were, it was honestly like i wasn't there!! I didn't relies things had gotten this bad and out of control.
I mean there are rules for example - see if you have no intention of inviting people to an event then you don't make the plans in front of them!! Simple as!
Just gets worse when the folk you though were ok seem to have joined in I mean i know one of them was two faced and one to watch but i never saw her treating me that way.
They are just all due to go fuck each other, bunch of jealous stuck up cows, cos that's what everyone thinks of them, no body thinks they are cool or grown up so they just need to deal with that and stop trying to be something they're not!
Thursday, 21 October 2010
cols feet?.....
Its sooooo cold outside now, the gloves and scarf are out and its time to wrap up warm :)
Today was a bad day to wear heels at work had to walk to the bus station, to the office then go a nice long walk round the city centre finding folk to talk too, then walk to the bus.
My poor feet :(
So far this week 2 stangers have sat beside me on the bus, now there are rules against these things, if there are two empty seats beside each other then you sit there NOT BESIDE A STRANGER.
Also i think I'm one of those annoying people that folk dont like that has there music to loud so others can hear it. Opps well all i have to say to that is DONT SIT CLOSE TO ME!!!!
Today was a bad day to wear heels at work had to walk to the bus station, to the office then go a nice long walk round the city centre finding folk to talk too, then walk to the bus.
My poor feet :(
So far this week 2 stangers have sat beside me on the bus, now there are rules against these things, if there are two empty seats beside each other then you sit there NOT BESIDE A STRANGER.
Also i think I'm one of those annoying people that folk dont like that has there music to loud so others can hear it. Opps well all i have to say to that is DONT SIT CLOSE TO ME!!!!
Monday, 18 October 2010
People....
Was up far to early today, but surprisingly I'm not that tired. Its just starting to catch up on me now.
Got the bus up with a friend this morning, helped him with his collage projects since I'm so nice.
Even got walked right to the door.
Now I must confess I love the Irish accent and since the boss man at the paper is Irish, its heaven. Couldn't help but laugh when he decided to change a light though and got down of the chair and put his foot straight in the bin.
Looking forward to the rest of the week.
My mate even got the bus home with me, which was really nice of him. Had a good laugh even made friends with some of his mates who said they "liked my fringe" which was a tad random i must admit.
Only problem is my boyfriend doesn't like this mate, and well me and him are close and have a laugh in the kind of way that can come across as flirty and at times certain lines may be crossed, although nothing has EVER happened and nothing will.
Got the bus up with a friend this morning, helped him with his collage projects since I'm so nice.
Even got walked right to the door.
Now I must confess I love the Irish accent and since the boss man at the paper is Irish, its heaven. Couldn't help but laugh when he decided to change a light though and got down of the chair and put his foot straight in the bin.
Looking forward to the rest of the week.
My mate even got the bus home with me, which was really nice of him. Had a good laugh even made friends with some of his mates who said they "liked my fringe" which was a tad random i must admit.
Only problem is my boyfriend doesn't like this mate, and well me and him are close and have a laugh in the kind of way that can come across as flirty and at times certain lines may be crossed, although nothing has EVER happened and nothing will.
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